Book Summary Essay Example for Free

Book Summary Essay The book I chose to read was â€Å"When I Say No, I Feel Guilty† by Manuel J. Smith. The first thing to stand out to me in this book was it seemed a little outdated. Even though the writing style and the examples appeared to be from a different era, I was still able to see how different points were relevant today and to me personally. This title screamed my name when I was browsing the list of choices because no matter what I am saying no to, I always feel guilty. From the first moment that we can feel and translate emotions, we have been manipulated by others. We have grown up under the sense that we should feel certain ways about particular actions. We forget to a chore when we are young, we should feel guilty. We bring a bad grade home on out report card, we should be scared of getting in trouble. Many activities are labeled either good or bad and we should portray emotions to match. As a manager, you should try to keep commands or statements neutral. A neutral statement is one that doesn’t assign the label of good or bad to a behavior so the recipient will not feel manipulated. Everyday, people try to manipulate you into doing what they want by making you feel nervous, uninformed, or blameworthy. If you let them push you around you will feel frustrated, angry or depressed. When you permit others to control your actions, you renounce your sense of personal responsibility. Smith states that the first step in fixing the situation is to know that â€Å"no one can manipulate your emotions or behavior if you don’t allow it to happen. † Also, following the Bill of Assertive Rights will help lead to non-manipulative relationships in all situations. The rights are the basis for all healthy relationships and are listed as: You have the right to judge your own behavior, thoughts and emotions, and to take the responsibility for their initiation and consequences upon yourself. You have the right to offer no reasons or excuses for justifying your behavior. You have the right to judge if you are responsible for finding solutions to other people’s problems. You have the right to change your mind. You have the right to make mistakes and be responsible for them. You have the right to say, â€Å"I don’t know†. You have the right to be independent of the goodwill of others before coping with them. You have the right to be illogical in making decisions. You have the right to say, â€Å"I don’t understand†. You have the right to say, â€Å"I don’t care†. The first right is the foundation of all of the remaining rights. When you become your own judge, you help to build a barrier against manipulation. Judgements should be based on your values and not external systems of what is right or wrong. People base their manipulative actions on the belief that you should live up to their rules. If you are accepting of this situation, you open yourself up to a limitless variety of manipulation. Criticism is a common tool people use to get someone to behave according to their standards. Reactions to criticism can be negative with anxiety, denial, and defensiveness. Learning to take criticism in a constructive manner helps to avoid manipulation. Verbal coping methods to help accept criticism effectively are fogging, negative assertion, and negative inquiry. Fogging is when you only agree to the truths in a statement and respond to what someone has specifically stated rather than what is implied. A negative assertion is statement that takes responsibility for something you have done wrong. It takes courage to make a negative assertion and say, I’m sorry. Last, using negative inquiry encourages the critic to reply assertively instead of manipulatively. This tactic is typically used to ask for additional information about a critique. There are also different types of relationships that fall into three categories, commercial, authority, and equality. Basic verbal skills used to minimize manipulation do not change as problems are handled throughout these different relationships. Commercial relationships are clearly defined with a contract. Since this type of relationship follows a defined structure an assertive verbal skill works most effectively. In an authority relationship there is one person in charge while the other is not. Authority based relationships emphasize finding compromises that grow on existing interpersonal dynamic. Both parties are equal in an equality relationship. This relationship is the most informal and tends to have everything open for discussion. Thoughtful open communication reassures people that you will not hinder their decision making, even if you may disagree. The main concept I took away from this book is, it’s my life and what happens in it is completely up to me! I will not cower when I face manipulation. My reactions to particular situations can pave the way for a disaster or a triumph. We must always be in touch with reality to promote our own well-being and happiness. We also have to accept the possibility that changing our mind is completely normal and healthy. Keeping the Assertive Bill of Rights in mind will help to stand up against manipulation and keep our dignity, self-respect, and control over our own behavior.

Social Work Environment :: essays research papers

  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  Ã‚  I live in Hamilton County of Cincinnati, Ohio. I am originally from Toledo, Ohio, but decided to attend the University of Cincinnati (UC). There are currently more than 500 degree programs available at UC. UC runs year round quarters; there are three ten week quarters (September until June), and one ten week summer quarter (June until September). The student to faculty ratio is 19:1, based on a full-time equivalent. As of fall, there were 33,342 total students; 26,054 undergraduates and 7,288 graduate and professional students. There were 3,904 African American students and 1,556 international students. I live in a residence hall (aka  ¡Ã‚ °dorm ¡Ã‚ ±). I live on the seventh floor of Calhoun Residence Hall. It is located on 240 Calhoun St. directly across from all the fast food franchises, significantly Arby ¡Ã‚ ¯s. There are four other normal dormitories: Siddall, Daniels, Dabney, and Sawyer. There are two residence halls that are especially for graduate students, and international students. Calhoun is located directly across from Siddall. The other six residence halls are located on the other side of West campus mainly located on Jefferson Avenue. There is a new residence hall consisting of six different buildings being built for next year. It will be called Jefferson hall and only upper classmen will be permitted to live in it. It will be suite-style, meaning there will be a full bathroom and living area within each room. Calhoun is thirteen floors; one floor is a study lounge, and the remaining twelve are resident floors. Since Calhoun is co-ed by floor this year, there ar e eight floors of men and four floors of women. I live on the seventh floor and I share my room with one other woman. In my room, there are two beds (which are bunked), a refrigerator, two closets, two dressers, and two desks. On each floor, there is a small kitchen area. In the kitchen, there is a stove/oven, sink, drinking fountain, small table, and a microwave. There is a bathroom on each floor in which only the sex of that certain floor are permitted inside. In each bathroom, there are four toilet stalls, ten shower stalls (which are individual), and eight sinks. In addition, on each floor of Calhoun, there is one single room. In this room lives only one individual, however, the cost of that room is $300 more per year than the cost of the double rooms.

Ban the School Uniform!

School Uniform. Who actually likes school uniform? Nobody. Nobody in their right mind wants to wear exactly the same clothes that hundreds of people are wearing at the same time, in the same place. Why do people wear school uniform? Because they have to. There is no law saying people have to wear school uniform, so who says you have to? Governors, head-teachers, your parents? They all say â€Å"wear your school uniform† And why? Because they were told to wear uniforms when they were at school. It's not because they like school uniform, or that they think it makes you look smart like they always tell you- it's because they want revenge. That's all. They just want to get their own back on their governors, their head-teachers, their parents. They just can't get over the way they were treated at school, the fact that they were made to wear school uniform. On average 90% of Britain's school children are FORCED to wear a school uniform. 90%. And this number is always increasing. Think how many people that is. Hundreds, thousands, millions of kids walking about dressed exactly the same, like identical robots. Also think how much time is wasted on the uniform. Going out and buying it. Time wasted by you getting dressed into the uniform with a thousand layers-the kind of layers that keeps you roasting in summer and does bugger all in the winter-, time wasted by parents washing the uniform and ironing it continuously. Don't forget the uniform has to be worn 5 days a week, so it's not just a case of wash it Saturday, iron it for Monday†¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦Ã¢â‚¬ ¦it's more like wash it Tuesday, iron it Tuesday, wash it again Thursday, iron it Thursday and then wash it for Monday again on Saturday. It's a never ending cycle. Not only that, teacher's time is being wasted by having to CHECK that you wearing the goddamn thing. â€Å"Why haven't you got your tie on?† – The tie you can't even see â€Å"Why have you got your trainers on?† – What difference does it make what shoes you wear? Expensive time is being wasted on this pointless matter: time which could cost your child those marks to get a better exam level. Uniform are restrictive, and in a recent survey 99% of people feel uncomfortable in their uniform. This causes them to fidget and lose their concentration. Concentration which is already at a low level. Nothing bad can come out of banning school uniform. Nothing. People will argue that too much pressure will be put on parents to buy designer clothes for their children, but I disagree. Clothes that people own now would be worn and there was no pressure on buying these so there should be no pressure to buy new clothes. Pressure is already on parents to buy the school uniform so this is a pointless point. We have to ban the school uniform for people's individuality. If we don't people will dress exactly the same all their lives, until we become one world of uniform wearing, identical robots. It's been said that somewhere in the world there is someone who looks EXACTLY like you. Imagine if there were a billion people look exactly like you? So people, join me in saying â€Å"Ban the uniform, ban it now before it is too late!† In my speech I used: * Clusters of 3 * Repetition * Use of statistics * Addressing the reader * Repetition of powerful phrases * Point of the disadvantages of not agreeing * Rhetorical questions * Alliteration * Short, sharp sentences * Ending with the main slogan

The Scarlet Letter Discussion Questions - 1333 Words

Sarah Miller Nelson AP Lang 9/23/15 The Scarlet Letter Discussion Questions: â€Å"Custom House† and Chapters 1-10 Nathaniel Hawthorne Background: Life and Times: Family: - Hawthorne’s father was born in Salem in 1775. - Hawthorne was haunted and intruiged by his paternal ancestors (the Hathornes) and mentioned them in his fiction works. These ancestors included a Quaker persecutor and a stern interrogator of accused witches. - Hawthorne’s mother was born in 1780, about a hundred years after her ancestors arrived in the New World. - His mother’s family (the Mannings) were blacksmiths and iron workers and also appeared in Hawthorne’s fiction. - After two of his works were published in 1830 under the name of Hathorne, he added the â€Å"w†. - Hawthorne married Sophia Peabody from Salem in 1842 and they had three children. They were wealthy and lived in Salem, Concord, and abroad. Biographical Information: - Hawthorne was born on July 4, 1804 in Salem, MA. - Although he lived in Boston and Maine as well, most of his life was spent in Salem. - In 1846 Hawthorne took the position of Surveyor of the Port at the Salem Custom House. After a change in political administration in 1849, he lost his job. - After his lost of his job and his mother, Hawthorne moved away from Salem and lived in various places. - In 1853 Hawthorne’s friend President Franklin Pierce got him the position of Consul in Liverpool, England. - Hawthorne died in 1864. Literary Career: - In Hawthorne’s youth, he wrote aShow MoreRelated Symbols and Symbolism in Nathaniel Hawthornes The Scarlet Letter1178 Words   |  5 PagesSymbolism   in The Scarlet Letter Nathaniel Hawthorne isnt noted for perfecting any famous literary style, for writing multiple best sellers, or even for contributing largely to classic American literature.   His only real claim to fame is The Scarlet Letter: a novel that was originally only meant to be yet another Hawthorne short story.   Because of this, it actually possesses many short story characteristics.   It is simpler and more complete than his other novels. (James 285)   It also hasRead MoreThe Scarlet Letter By Nathaniel Hawthorne1242 Words   |  5 PagesLYS PAUL Modern Literature Ms. Gordon The Scarlet Letter The scarlet letter is book written by Nathaniel Hawthorne who is known as one the most studied writers because of his use of allegory and symbolism. He was born on July 4, 1804 in the family of Nathaniel, his father, and Elizabeth Clark Hathorne his mother. Nathaniel added â€Å"W† to his name to distance himself from the side of the family. His father Nathaniel, was a sea captain, and died in 1808 with a yellow fever while at sea. That was aRead MoreThe Scarlet Letter By Roger Chillingworth895 Words   |  4 PagesRoger Chillingworth: Retribution to Death According to an old Klingon proverb, â€Å"Revenge is a dish best served cold,† which Roger Chillingworth, the evil antagonist in The Scarlet Letter knows how to serve well. As readers, we rarely slow down and really scrutinize the works of novels. Consequently, we do not truly realize and acknowledge the development and transition of the characters’ feelings, thoughts, and states of mind. Through Roger Chillingworth, Nathaniel Hawthorne demonstrates that tryingRead MoreHester Prynne Character Analysis1187 Words   |  5 PagesThe Scarlet Letter is a novel based on a young lady named Hester Prynne who commits adultery during the 1700s, and she secretly borns a baby girl named pearl which is in her care. Both of them live in the colony for the future as the other adulterer named Arthur Dimmesdale suffers by his secrecy and Chillingworth, his caretaker who is always near him. In The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne, Hester Prynne experiences many obstacles in Massac husetts to repent her sins that she caused. Every storyRead MoreAre Women Destructive Forces?1674 Words   |  7 Pagesadversities in life had given her, but through the degree of her refusal to permit those adversities to direct her and decide who she ends up to be. Nathaniel Hawthorne wrote The Scarlet Letter in the early 1800’s about a disgraced woman who emerged from the shadows to alter the precise definition of the disgraceful letter â€Å"A† on her chest. Later, John Steinbeck composed Of Mice and Men in the 1930’s that depicted Curleys spouse as determined but also immensely egotistic, ultimately prompting hisRead MoreQuestions On Reading And Writing1203 Words   |  5 Pagestreat myself to a Popsicle when I finished each chapter. One day, in a class discussion around chapter seven something struck me: I was enjoying the discussion so thoroughly and yet I was bored to tears while reading the same exact material the night before. I pondered why that would be. My only explanation was that my teacher had brought it to life for me. She had forced me to read between the lines and to ask questions about the passage. That was the first real experience of mine that had an impactfulRead More New Historicism, Feminist Crit icism and Deconstruction in Hawthornes The Scarlet Letter3014 Words   |  13 PagesPerspectives on New Historicism, Feminist Criticism and Deconstruction in Nathaniel Hawthornes The Scarlet Letter Introduction Nathaniel Hawthornes The Scarlet Letter has been a highly debatable topic of numerous critical essays, written by scholars who approach the novel from various perspectives of literary criticism. Due to the diversity of perspectives, the questions proposed by these scholars vary and hence the conclusions they arrive at by examining the same literary text mayRead MoreThe Scarlet Letter, By Nathaniel Hawthorne And The Violent Bear It Away1586 Words   |  7 Pagestown. Following Tarwater’s escape from his prison, Old Man Tarwater’s house, Tarwater finally confronts the harsh 5truth about his fate as a prophet and his family. In both cases, there is uncertainty regarding the outcomes of their lives. In The Scarlet Letter, by Nathaniel Hawthorne, and The Violent Bear It Away, by Flannery O’Connor, in an attempt to assert control over the long-term outcomes, both Hester and Tarwater leave their prisons with an outward exhibition of confidence and a need to controlRead MoreThe True Nature Of Love1338 Words   |  6 Pagesa woman s heart before he takes her hand in marriage as her situation with Chillingworth is proof of the repercussions of a loveless marriage. Are humans born innately good, evil or both? â€Å"As he spoke, he laid his long forefinger on the scarlet letter, which fort with seemed to scorch into Hester’s breast, as if it had been red-hot. He noticed her involuntary gesture, and smiled. â€Å"Live, therefore, and bear about thy doom with thee, in the eyes of men and women—in the eyes of him thou didstRead MoreNathaniel Hawthorne s The Scarlet Letter Essay1928 Words   |  8 Pageshow society should affect people in The Scarlet Letter. This book is about a woman named Hester Prynne, who is condemned to wearing a scarlet letter A by the Puritan society, in which she lives. The symbol explored is Hawthorne’s use of nature. Nature is found everywhere, no matter where a person looks. It can be a display of beauty or a display of ugliness. It also contains many elements, such as leaves, stems, and roots. Nature is used in The Scarlet Letter to represent the characters of the novel